The Cabinets From Hell

I missed September, but that's what keeps this interesting.

The house is turning into a house. All the walls are in and primed. The outisde is stuccoed and ready to be plastered. The cabinets are . . . well the cabinets aren't off to a very good start.

Actually, the first time I saw the cabinets (in the dealer's warehouse) I was happy with them. I opened a couple boxes and took pictures. This is the microwave cabinet for the kitchen:



The entire kitchen, the mudroom, the pool bath and dressing room, and the linen closet are all this same style and finish.

These are the laundry room cabinets:



They are really very pretty and well made. Then they were delivered to my house and the trouble began. Here is what we had:





You might notice a few problems. If not, let me point them out. First of all, the upper cabinets are supposed to go all the way to the ceiling. The ones on the left have a good chance of doing so because there are 18-inch tall cabinets going on top, as well as 6-inch moldings. The ones above the cooktop and the sink, however, look like they may have some problems getting all the way up there. Most of them are 42 inches tall--6 inches shorter than they were supposed to be. One of them (I'll bet you can pick it out) is only 30 inches tall. The installers put them up there maybe thinking we could work it out.

There is supposed to be a 42-inch hood centered above the cooktop. Even if there were 42 inches up there the hood would be skewed off to the right.

The cabinets to the left of the window end about 3 inches before the window. The cabinets to the right of the window end as close to the window as possible. They end about 3 inches before the end of the wall on the other side, which is necessary because of the molding. The base cabinet below them ends about 3/4 of an inch before the end of the wall. The sink is not centered on the window because there is a blind-corner base cabinet taking more than its share of space. Despite all the room it is hogging, the door cannot be opened fully without smacking into the drawers next to it. Inside that blind-corner cabinet is a really cool thing called a "magic corner". Unfortunately it needs the door to open all the way in order to work its magic.

These are supposed to look sort of like china cabinets. They would do a better job of this if the upper cabinets were 48 inches tall instead of 42.



The butler's pantry is supposed to have these same beautiful cabinets, but they should be only 18 inches deep. They are 24 inches deep which means we can't really get into the butler's pantry to get to the dining room. I guess we could always go around.

Fortunately I was not so stupid as to pay the cabinet man all the money he is owed, even though he tried to talk me into it. I paid him half upon ordering, 25% upon their arrival in his warehouse and am supposed to pay him the rest after they are all installed. Or I could use that money to order new cabinets that actually fit. He sees the logic in this and is ordering me new cabinets.

I hope to be fully satisfied. But, then, I also hoped to be in my house by the beginning of September and my contractor just told me to tell my landlord that we are staying through November. We may have to rent another house to store all the items I have sitting around waiting to go into my new house. I have plumbing fixtures in my bedroom and in the garage, and my living room is currently housing 42 boxes of lights. You wouldn't think a house would need that many lights, but you would be very wrong, because there are still 15 more that have yet to arrive.

I also have several boxes of towel racks, toilet paper holders, etc. in my living room. Everything is packed in a box that is about 8 times as big as it needs to be. I just received a sink for my laundry room that is about 18 inches square and 10 inches deep. The box it came in is 48"x28"x15".

Every day I am asked about 40 different questions that I have never considered the answers to, like "What size grout do you want in the pool bathroom?" and "Where do you want the seams in your granite?" and "How tall do you want your hearth?" and "Where are the slide bolts for your garage doors?" and "What style of shroud do you want on your chimney?" There's going to be a shroud on my chimney? I trick people into answering these questions for me by saying things like, "What do you think would look better?" or "What do most people do?" or even, "Was I supposed to order slide bolts?" I think some of them may jeer at me behind my back but, as long as I don't have to make any more decisions, I don't care. Now I am going to start saying, "I will pay you extra if you don't make me answer that question."

This is a very disjointed post. Someday, when I stop waking up at night sweating over the realization that the design decision I made that day will completely ruin my house, I will again be coherent. Someday.

The Tower

My neighbor said to me the other day (thanks for reminding me, Amanda), "I can't wait to see what you're going to do with that tower."

What is that supposed to mean?

Funny things my architect has said

This is kind of like those Christmas letters that couples with young children send. (Note to those couples: only the childrens' grandmothers like those. Sometimes those grandmothers even post them on the frig and require others to read them--or listen while they are read aloud. Even though the people who are being forced to listen already received one of their own.)

My architect is very good at what he does. He is also good at saying everything that crosses his mind. I mentioned in the previous post that his response to the pictures of the light fixtures I was considering was disgust. He said things like, "Eww" and "What is THAT?" before finding one about which he could say, "Well, that's not horrible." What redeems him is that he was right. Like I said before, I was thinking I would show some individuality and put in something 'different'. I don't know why I got that idea because I am really a bland, conforming sort of person.

Here are some of the more extreme rejects:




This one got the "not horrible":


See? He saved me from attempting to be artistic. That's harder than it looks

At one of our early meetings Carlisle asked about diagonal wood. Robert told him we couldn't do that and when Carlisle asked why, Robert said, "Because it isn't the seventies and we don't have a time machine." I agree with the sentiment, but sheesh. A few minutes later Robert asked Carlisle a question and Carlisle said, "I'm still stinging from that last comment."

I was standing in the master bathroom with Robert, my builder and the electrician discussing having heated floors in there. Robert asked me why I wanted these (we live in southern California so his question had some merit), and I said it was because I am always cold. He looked me up and down and said, "That's because you have no body fat. You don't need heated floors, you need a pork chop."

A woman came into his office and introduced him to his daughter. Robert said, "If you were my daughter you'd be wearing more clothes." Even HE was embarrassed about that one. Said it just came out of his mouth. What a card.

Chandeliers

I've been looking for a chandelier for my dining room. I thought maybe I should try to put a little zest into my house so I was choosing some that were a little unusual. My architect (and designer) looked at every one of them and I think I caught him shuddering. He finally found one that he said was 'not horrible.' You have to have high self-esteem to work with him and I'm not sure I do.

What I'm finding is that most chandeliers are weird. I really just want something simple. So how about these?






Okay, that last one was a joke.

But if we ever add a dungeon, this one is going in it.



And I really want to put this in my front porch.


We have a sort of tower-type thing that could look really gothic with the right accessories.

My monthly post.

Okay. I skipped July.

The house is completely framed. The rough electric is done. The windows are in. There are piles of tiles sitting in little rows on my roof. (That last sentence was sort of poetic, don't you think?)

We have paid about $1000 to have our sprinklers moved around while we build so that the lawn could stay green (because the city says so). Now we have mountains of junk piled up all over the lawn so that the grass is dead. I am assuming the piles are getting watered regularly.




In the back yard where there are no piles they moved the trampoline into the middle of the yard so that they could kill the most grass with the least effort. On the dirt area where the trampoline used to be they have parked a miniscule tractor-type thing. I can certainly see why it was necessary to move the trampoline for that nice parking place. I wonder what they were supposed to be doing while they played with the trampoline and the little tractor.


This is the latest picture of the front of the house. You will notice that right now the lumber company (Roadside) is getting top billing. That is probably best because there is certainly a lot of lumber.



Here are some living room shots.




Next month maybe the big pile of plumbing fixtures that have made themselves at home in my bedroom will have been installed. Probably not.

Pictures of Framing

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NOTE: You have to maximize this window in order to see the pictures properly. I don't know why.


These are some very exciting pictures of our house being framed. Even though demolition was amazing and we have the nicest foundation I have ever laid eyes upon, we are thrilled to see some vertical action going on.


Please don't mention the fact that the house looks like it has almost grown out to the sidewalk. I also don't want to hear any comments about the fact that the dining room window is the hugest window ever and when we eat in there everyone in the neighborhood will stand out in the street and watch.


I hope that framer is not using a staple gun to put my house together.

We're still at it.

I posted once in March, twice in April, and skipped May entirely. A few things have happened. I won't list them all because then I will never be current. The high points:

1. What we thought was a soaking tub in the master bathroom turned out to be a bomb shelter. It was solid concrete reinforced every 12 inches with rebar. It took the demo guys an extra week to destroy. And that cost us an extra $1000.

2. The lender wanted more insurance. A lot of it.

3. I ordered all the windows and doors. I thought I could just leave this to my architect and contractor, but I was wrong. I met with the window guy for two hours during which I discovered that several windows were missing from the order. Also there was a window ordered for the shower in the master bathroom that was 30" high and made of wood. With clear glass. That faced the backyard. This didn't seem ideal to me. One window in the kitchen was about a foot too short, because of an earlier version of the floor plan. The living room window had about three times as many divisions in it as were called for. These windows are not cheap and take from 4 to 6 weeks to get. Framing can't be passed off if there are any windows or doors missing to the outside of the house. This could have been a big problem.

4. The lender wanted us to write a summary of the project "in our own words". Apparently having the permits and a complete set of plans couldn't give them enough of an idea of what we were actually proposing.

5. I ordered all the plumbing fixtures. According to the schedule my contractor gave me I was to have done this by May 16th. At that point half of our house had been demolished and there was a partially-poured foundation. I didn't realize it at the time, but the schedule was really only a very rough guess, or maybe a passing thought, or probably just a way of making me stop asking for a schedule. All they really needed was a couple of rough plumbing fixtures when they framed, and I still have those fixtures riding around in the back of my car.

6. The lender wanted to have another pay-off amount sent by our original mortgage company. It takes a couple weeks to get these. (Isn't this information in their computers?) The first two had expired.

7. The foundation was poured. There was some really horrible linoleum under the floor that was glued permanently onto the original foundation with some sort of toxic tar substance. They had to replace this part of the foundation. The original owners apparently had some sort of millenial picture in their minds as to how long the house was going to exist. It cost several thousand more dollars and took an extra week.

8. The lender wanted the most current statement from one of our 401(k)s. This account has less than 10% of the total amount of money we have in 401(k)s. These are annual statements and they already had the one dated December 31, 2007. This was apparently not current enough.

9. The cabinets were supposed to be ordered by May 23rd. At this point I was still not in on the schedule joke. I spent five hours with a kitchen designer (this was after a three-hour preliminary appointment when I was doing a cost-comparison). At the end of this five hours I was told that the cabinet order would not be placed until I paid the entire amount. This made me grumpy and I refused to order the cabinets. Now I have to find new cabinets.

10. The lender wanted to have some additional discussions with the contractor regarding the construction budget. Not the amounts, the categorizations. They have had the construction budget for two-and-a-half months.

11. The fireplaces are built. They look really lonely on that big mass of concrete, but I am glad to finally see something above ground.

12. After five months, the loan funded. An hour before it happened we still didn't believe it would. Our loan broker had a nervous breakdown and switched careers. (I am just kidding about the nervous breakdown, but not about the switching of careers.)

13. Still not being in on the schedule joke, I traipsed through countless stone yards and picked a limestone called Sea Grass for my bathroom and a granite called Verde Coast (or Coast Green for those who are less sophisticated) for the kitchen. I love these stones. I have little sample pieces of them sitting on a shelf in the family room, and I look at them. Ava picks them up and gets into a throwing position and says, "Whee!" while her mom tells her no.

14. I had a meeting with my architect (who is also a designer) to talk about tile and was informed that I am way ahead of the game and that nothing actually needs to be ordered for a really long time. I have the kitchen sink sitting in my bedroom. The plumbing supply place has called to tell me they have three toilets, eight faucets, a garbage disposer, two air switches, four soap dispensers, three shower fixtures, one bath fixture, a vanity, a mirror and an air gap ready for me to pick up.

15. The framing has begun, and is moving along quickly. The contractor told me it would, but that it would go more slowly after that. (Oh, really? You mean once we get all those pieces of wood up we're not ready to move in?) He said that the framing was easier and less expensive than he had thought and that we would be able to move in sooner and pay less money. Just kidding.